The shortcut blog about this woman writing elsewhere

So I had a plan – which was to write one blog a month this year. And now it is the 30^th of May and so far no blog has appeared. There has been action aplenty in life, and even some bits of writing here and there, but none of it on the Flamingo Rover blog.  

In my defence for the non appearance of a blog Finn turned two – which means that I have a two year old and a three year old. Just think about that for a little while. Trust me it is big. In a last ditch attempt to stick to my plan I thought I would shout out about some of the non Flamingo Rover writing, book talking and writing networking I have been doing. Feel free to click through to all my brilliant thoughts!

I was recently interviewed about some of the behind the scenes of You Won't Remember This by the lovely Claire Wingfield. Claire runs a literary consultancy and it was a pleasure to talk to her about getting the job of writing done when you are a mother of small children.

That theme continued in my guest post for Hewer Text - where I wrote about my journey towards getting the book finished and how outsourcing became my best friend. 

An exciting event worth being loud about is the fact that I become a founder member of the Women Writers Network. This network is part of my ongoing efforts to push my writer self out into the world - and to raise the profile of women's writing in general. So stay tuned and check out the #women_writers hashtag - because I promise there will be more writing here and elsewhere!

And I for one am excited about that. 

Oh and three cheers for Finn for taking a nap so I could write this post. 

The Sleep Series - Part one. I can't remember where I slept last night

I walked in the door this afternoon and it flashed across my mind, for no particular reason that I could not remember where I slept last night. I don't have a wild lifestyle. I just have two small children.

Sleeping Woman

For the first few weeks after going into his own bed Rafa settled down happily and put himself to sleep. Then he realised he could get out of bed by himself. Since then (nearly a year) Rafa has at some point in the night gotten out of his bed and into ours.

Back when we thought this was going to be a short lived phenomenon I struggled against it. We would try to put him back to bed in his own bed, I would toss and turn feeling claustrophobic stuck between my husbands body and my sons and lie awake waiting until I thought he had gone properly back to sleep so I could move him back to his bed.

Even worse than the feeling of claustrophobia was the feeling of him digging his long toe nails into my legs. He seemed to derive comfort from doing this. I did not.

Then I had one of those inevitable conversations with another mum. I was complaining about this interruption to my sleep, and wondering why he couldn't just stay in his own bed, my friend, in her quiet, generous way pointed out how – during the daytime a child of his age – 2.5 -3 years old will not manage to spend long periods without being in either verbal or physical contact with their parents, so why she asked would this be different at night?

This realisation of his need to be close to us through the night did not solve the 'problem' of Rafa coming into bed with us, but it did allow me to stop thinking of it as a something I could 'solve'. Instead I made some adjustments to help me to cope better.

Now when he comes in I guide him to the centre of the bed. This way I have some air on one side. To lessen the impact of the digging toenails I now sleep in leggings (it is Scotland, this is mostly a good idea anyway).

Sometimes I kick my husband out of the bed, and sometimes when the male snoring, wriggling, toe nail digging is all to much I quietly slip out of my bed, and go and sleep in Rafa's bed.

Then there are the nights when the baby wakes up as well. At 17 -19months We are gradually transitioning way from me feeding the baby at night. So I can sometimes send my husband to settle the baby, give him a drink of water (tsa in Finn-ese) and snuggle down with him. Sometimes he wants 'mulck' (said with an amazing gutterul ckkk). And the musical beds move around once again.

It can be:

All four of us in one bed.

Rafa and mummy in the big bed -Finn and daddy in the little bed.

Rafa and daddy in the big bed – mummy in the little bed, Finn in his cot.

Finn and mummy in the little bed, Rafa and daddy in the big bed.

Do you have a sleep story you want to tell? Get in touch and add to the sleep series. 

About the Sleep Series: It is a truth universally acknowledged that whenever two or more parents of young babies and children meet they will have a conversation about sleep. The Flamingo Rover sleep series is not intended to provide expert advice – more to tell sleep stories in an attempt to reassure parents that there is no such thing as a 'normal' nights sleep, and there is no such thing as a parent who is doing the 'wrong' thing. 

Please please please -  If you've had a bad night's sleep - or a bad week or a bad month do make sure you tell your friends about it.  Your welcome to tell me about it if you like. If you still don't feel like yourself tell your GP and your midwife and your Health Visitor. Find a sleep clinic and talk it through. Try to take a nap.  


Look out for your sisters - If you see someone with a baby who looks like they have had a bad night's sleep - or a bad week or a bad month go and chat to them. 

Image credit: The Met Odilon Redon (French, Bordeaux 1840-1916) Reproduced under a CC Licence. 

I will teach my children lies

Winter, Jean Antoine Houdon, 1787

I will teach my children lies

I will teach them that a mothers love and a fathers love can protect them from everything.

That by treating others with respect they in turn will be respected.

That by doing their bit to protect the environment, conserving resources and treading lightly on the earth they can make a difference.

I will teach my children the lie that hard work and determination equals success.

That the world is safe.

That Art matters

That love conquers all

That their opinions count and so do other peoples.

That laughter is the best medicine.

I will teach them that 'the women are equal. And they may be ahead of the men.'

That anything is possible.

That there is a happily ever after.

That the people we love never truly leave us.

That we are all winners.

That superman will always come to the rescue (or Paw Patrol or Octonauts or whatever next weeks obsession is).

That villains always get what they deserve.

That love will find a way.

That I will always catch them when they fall.

I will teach them the lie that character, loyalty, friendship and generosity are more important than where they go to school and how much money their father earns.

That a persons gender, race, choice of lifestyle and life partner makes no difference whatsoever to their worth as a human being.

I will teach them that we can all live in peace.

I will teach my children lies 

and perhaps in doing so

my lies will become the truth.  

Charity after Reni, John Keyse Sherwin

What Lies do you teach your children? Are there any you would like to add? 

a moment of calm

As evidenced by my lack of blog posts this year life has been rather hectic. It is hectic in all of the best ways - life is brimming with unforgettable happenings.
Over Easter there was the wedding of friends to attend - which took us from Edinburgh to London and then across the channel to France - with a day or two in Germany on the way home. Much eating and dancing was done and sleep was distinctly lacking.

After that it was home to Edinburgh to finish planning my own wedding - and while the Easter celebrations set the bar very very high I think our happy day was a pretty good follow up - and from the perspective of the princess in the white dress I have to say I loved every minute.

bride and groom in Edinburgh's Old Town

Somewhere in the middle we went to see Paul Kelly perform in Glasgow, and had the second ultrasound on my growing bump - getting to see Paul Kelly and our healthy, acrobatic baby within the space of a few days was a very special lead up to our nuptials 

Even though I was something of a dead beat bride and did very little in the way of a hens do I was still pretty happy with my pre-wedding outings. The Edinburgh hen tradition of going out with a squealing gaggle of girls and vomiting in the loo's in a pub in the Old Town was not really an attractive option for me, though the girls at work did manage to get a sparkly tiara and veil combo on my head for a meal out.

... and we have been flat hunting, doing rental applications, started packing, had my mother visiting, had lots of lovely other visitors for the wedding and been skyping with all the folks in Oz. All this on top of working and getting stuck into the paperwork involved in new passports, name change, visas and plotting a celebration down under...

It can all make a girl rather breathless -
The lists of things to do have been raging on the edge of out of control - and no sooner has one event passed us by than there seems to be another one chasing us down. I wake up in a cold sweat rather often remembering than I still have not sent out any thank you cards - and don't even get me started on the fact that I have not had time to see the inside of the flat we are moving into in a month.

All the chaos is the glorious stuff of life and I remind myself every now and again that I am not the first or the last girl to be having a baby, getting married, moving house, holding down a job whilst living on the other side of the world from many of her nearest and dearest -  but it is the first time that all of these particular stars have aligned for me and I try to squeeze in the occasional moment of calm so as not to miss the excitement of it all in the midst of the busy blur.

I had thought that when I sat down to start this blog before running off to work - and am finishing it now on my return home that I might be reviving out one of those extinct moments of calm in my life - but actually I think it has just reminded me how harried I have been feeling of late - oops.

 Perhaps... perhaps I will sneak off and have a bath this evening and leave those thank you cards for another day...

The Lists for Today

Today I have been waiting for:

the internet to load
my fingertip to regrow
my bank statement

Today I have been looking up:

Arabic words for my short story
nice backpackers in Vancouver
the world clock
couch surfing
at the sky

Today the things that have helped are:

coffee
love
sunshine
friendly faces
mountains
music
a sneaky lunch bagel
my red hat

The long road to Cairo.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, 2011 has been the year of big things. One of the big things, which has continued to have reverberations around the world and continues to have an impact on my trip occurred at the start of the year in Egypt. In February this year Egypt had a revolution. Just before things got ugly I booked a ticket to fly from Tanzania to visit my cousin and her family living the ex-pat life in Cairo. 

Pyramids of Giza, Egypt

At the height of the chaos there were no phones and no internet.  We obsessively watched scary pictures on the news as we waited to find of how loved ones and strangers were faring. Finally after a few contradictory scraps of news via facebook we got solid news. The following email (sent by my Aunt, whose daughter and family I am now staying with in Cairo) was a great relief:

“Thanks for your thoughts and messages – I can’t capture what it means to know people are thinking of our Cairo family’s safety as well as what’s happening to people in Egypt, so thanks will have to do,

Have just Skyped with Fraine in Dubai and they’ve just about caught up with their sleep deficit and got back to eating meals. And after a WB (World Bank) meeting last night, families’ attention is turning to kids’ education and where to from here.

family dinner on a felucca on the Nile

Some families are considering school in Dubai. Fraine is wondering about using Oz Distance Ed resources. Not an available option for most families whose countries don’t have requirements for distance ed infrastructure – yet another reason to be glad we’re Australians, despite the floods/fires/cyclones! They’re also feeling very fortunate to have a house and school to return to in Oz as an option: most of the other evacuated families don’t have this. Fraine’s also unconcerned about having to leave material things behind in Cairo for now or ?forever.

international school

Some people who left with them have only hand luggage as they had to walk some distance before they could be transported to the airport. Some of the WB Egyptian employees have stayed behind as they have to physically protect their houses. The WB has chartered two flights out and they will call people who have stayed behind today to see if they want to leave. They’ve moved the a.m. call back to 11 a.m. as an earlier call interrupts people’s sleep after they’ve stayed up all night to protect their houses from looters.

 We maybe should feel sorry for Cam: the WB has an office in Dubai so he’ll be back at work on Sunday I guess (and perhaps he was back at work yesterday/ Thursday). Fraine’s relieved they didn’t go to Istanbul (another WB office city) - it’s winter there and they wouldn’t have winter clothes. (Seems a silly worry really, but maybe ordinary worries are a comfort in crises?)

All the WB families are being accommodated in the same serviced apartment building in Dubai so the kids have playmates in similar situations to themselves. The WB has a protocol for managing evacuated employees/families, which changes according to the length of time of the evacuation.  It’s early days yet, but we need have no concerns for F, C, H and L at any step along the way.

Egyptian felucca skipper

It’s a different matter for the people in Egypt of course... [in this] truly troubling time. If I was a prayer myself, I’d ask that people be safe. But I’ll ask for it anyway – just in case, and ‘cos it’s all I can do, x B”

That was February. In March I caught up with my cousin in St Kilda, she had returned to Australia so that her children could continue with their school year while her husband stayed in Dubai to work. The talk was about the scary time they had lived through, but also the plan to return once things had settled down. Her invitation to me to visit was still open if I wanted it.

And last week I arrived to a still curfewed Cairo in the middle of the night.

sunset on the Nile